Welcome to the open discussion and reading of a wonderful book entitled
Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. Feel free to join in!

Chapter 16 in a Nutshell
First off, we are nearing the end of Shepherding a Child's Heart. There are a total of 19 chapters and I may double up one week so that we can finish by 2010. Now if only finishing the book were as easy as living out the book. I'm considering other books I would like to review on the blog, but if you have a suggestion please feel free to email me or leave a comment with the title of the book.
Stage One
Thus far, the book has focused mainly on the zero to five-year-old category or as Tedd calls it, "stage one." The main issue in stage one was teaching and establishing in your child's heart that he is under God's authority and that you are an extension of that authority. He was learning to honor and obey. (Ephesians 6:1-3)
Stage Two
Stage two is the time known as childhood, which is generally defined as ages five to twelve. It is the time when they are spending more and more time away from you because of school and other activities. The one big issue in stage two is character. Although you may have a child who is willing to obey right away, have they developed the character to share their bicycle with others without being asked, or share their Christmas candy with those around them?
Character Development
How do you teach a child to be considerate, honest, or dependable? Well, some parents choose to make rules. Here's an example he uses.
A family has four girls and only one bathroom to share between them and hair pulling, crying, and lockouts become a real problem. (I added that part:) Anyway, Dad says, "Girls from now on you will each have 20 minutes in the bathroom to get ready."
Is the problem solved?
Or do you think the most inventive people on earth (children) could find loophole after loophole in this 20 minute rule?
What should they do? While a rule may give a good framework for the girls to abide by, it is also a matter of character. The girls need to consider the needs of each other, communicate their needs and learn ways of accommodating those needs so that they can learn to "esteem others better than themselves."
Twenty minutes solves a very temporary problem while getting to the heart of the matter addresses an eternal matter.
A Measuring Chart for Character Growth
Did you ever make marks on your wall to chart your growth as a child? Well as parents we need to stop and evaluate our child's character growth as well. Mr. Tripp recommends looking at these three areas in your child's life every six months.
The Child's Relationship to God
The Child's Relationship to Himself
The Child's Relationship to Others
To God:
We are not so much evaluating here whether the child has accepted Christ as Savior, but more so if he is concerned to know and love God and seek Him for help. Here are a few of the questions Tedd gives to help you evaluate your child in this area.
Is God a source of strength, comfort, and help to him?
Does he make choices that reflect knowing God?
Is he moved by God's ways and truth?
Is there evidence that he has an independent (apart from you as a parent) relationship with God?
What are the things that control his happiness?
What things other than God motivate him?
To Himself:
Suggested questions.
How does your child think about himself?
How well does he understand himself?
Is he aware of his strengths and weaknesses?
Does he understand his personality?
We should help them learn about their personality because this drives their responses to things. We want them to understand their strengths and weaknesses and ultimately to be content with themselves the way God made them.
To Others:
What are your child's relationships?
How does he interact with others?
What does he bring out in others?
Are his relationships even or is he always in control or being controlled?
How does he respond to being sinned against?
Taking Action:
List your concerns in each category.
List the things you are pleased with in each category.
Develop a strategy for dealing with areas of concern.
Chapter 17 is supposed to give procedures for addressing character so I hope to see you next week!
Discussion/Application
How do you encourage right character in your home?
Click here to read the Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8 , Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12 , Chapter 14 , or Chapter 15 post or go to the categories section and select book reviews. A big welcome to anyone hopping over here from we are THAT family for Works for Me Wednesday. Please join us next week for chapter 17!